


The Most Hideous Hat

by F1_rabbit



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 04:52:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13139466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/F1_rabbit/pseuds/F1_rabbit
Summary: Jo doesn't understand all the fuss about soulmates, he just wants to meet a nice person and date like they used to in the old days...





	The Most Hideous Hat

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LittleRookie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleRookie/gifts).



> Merry Christmas sweetie <3

“Are you coming to Kevin’s game on Friday?” Stoffel handed Jo a ticket, and he tucked it away in his wallet.

“Are they still bottom of the league?” Jo snorted in laughter, sipping at his coffee as he waited for his computer to load up.

“Yes, but they’ve got a couple of new guys since you last saw them play.” Stoffel smiled, and Jo knew what he was going to say next. “You never know, you might meet your soulmate there.”

“Stoffel, I’m happy for you, but I’m not bothered about meeting my soulmate.”

Stoffel held his hands up as though he was surrendering, and Jo looked up to see Esteban lurking by the end of their desk.

“Hey, can I help you?”

“I’ve been assigned to you guys for the next three months.” Esteban held up three cups of coffee, and Jo smiled as he cleared all the files and junk off the spare desk.

“Have a seat.” Jo held out the office chair as though he was on a date, and Esteban smiled as he sat down. “Have you ever been to an ice hockey match?”

“No, why?” Esteban looked confused as he handed out the coffees.

“Stoffel’s soulmate plays for the local amateur team, and they’ve got a game this Friday.”

Stoffel handed Esteban a ticket, smiling as Esteban looked excited. “You never know, you might meet your soulmate there.”

Esteban fidgeted with the brightly patterned tie that he was wearing, bright pink with yellow stripes that danced in front of Jo’s eyes.

Long ago, when people realised that they couldn’t lie to their soulmate, or soulmates, things went a little crazy. Everyone lied all the time, which meant that no-one could trust anyone, and the world broke down.

People needed a way of finding their soulmates without hurting anyone, and from the chaos a new system was created, one based on little white lies.

Everyone who was looking for their soulmate would wear one bit of clothing so hideous and ill-matched that no-one could think it was nice, and only their soulmate would be forced to tell them that.

There was no harm in that, and most people thought it was fun, but there were some that didn’t like the idea of fate telling them who to date. People like Jo, who wore nothing but plain black clothes.

“Nice tie.” Jo smirked as he sipped his coffee, and Stoffel sat back in his chair.

Stoffel grinned at Esteban, watching as his eyes lit up at the mere mention of soulmates.

Jo groaned internally, when he’d met Stoffel all those years ago at uni, they’d both sworn that they didn’t want anything to do with soulmates, but then fate had intervened, and decided that if Stoffel was going to be so stubborn they would make sure that he couldn’t miss his destiny.

“I have the perfect hat for it.” Esteban’s eyes lit up as Jo tried to stifle his laughter.

At least Esteban had brought him good coffee.

***

Kevin was team captain, which made a change from work, where Marcus outranked him. Although at work, that was a lot of extra work for no extra thanks, so Marcus could keep that.

Marcus had moved to his fire station a couple of months ago, and they’d quickly become good friends, bonding over their love of ice hockey.

“Is Stoffel coming tonight?” Marcus asked, and Kevin winked at him.

“Of course, and he’s bringing Jo and the new guy from work.” Kevin watched as Marcus smiled, he was hoping that a change of city would bring him one step closer to his soulmate. “I’ll make sure they both come to the pub afterwards.”

“Thank you.” Marcus slipped into his goalie pads, smiling as he grabbed his stick.

“Are you even old enough to drink, kid?” Kevin gave Lance a nudge, and he nodded, quietly mumbling that he was nineteen.

Lance towered over both of them, but there was something about his boyish looks that made him look even younger than his driver’s licence said.

“Ready to win?” Kevin put his fist out as Lance gave him a little bump, a smile creeping on to his face.

“Hell, yeah.”

*

Jo stared at Esteban’s hat with a mixture of amusement and horror, the neon pink panther adorning his head made it look like he’d hunted and killed a stuffed toy and was now wearing their pelt.

“Hi, nice hat.” Jo smiled in response to Esteban’s grin, he was the kind of person that radiated happiness and positivity wherever he went.

“Hi. Is Stoffel here yet?” Esteban bounced on the spot to keep warm, his breath hanging in the air as the stars fought to be seen over the orange glow of the streetlights.

“He’s already in his seat, watching Kevin warm up.” Jo resisted the urge to roll his eyes, Stoffel was happy, and that was all that he wanted for his friend.

“Cool, let’s go.” Esteban’s grin was contagious, and Jo found himself walking into the rink with his head held high, excited for the game.

Stoffel was sitting in the very front row, the area reserved for family and friends of the players. Jo and Esteban struggled to fit their long legs into the seats, and in the end Esteban admitted defeat, draping his legs over Jo as Stoffel laughed.

“Sorry, it’s an old arena.”

“It’s okay, I’m nice and comfy now.” Esteban stuck his tongue out as he cuddled into Jo’s shoulder, his hideous hat tickling his cheek.

*

Kevin skated back out on to the ice to see Stoffel cheering for him, and Jo with what looked like his soulmate draped over him.

Shouting would have been useless over the noise of the crowd, and gesturing in all the padding was difficult to say the least. He was just going to have to wait until the match was over to get all the gossip.

Two hours and six goals later, Kevin was back in the changing rooms, wondering how they could have lost so spectacularly. At least they got one goal, but that didn’t change the fact that the other team got five.

“Damn.” Lance was rooting through his bag, frowning as he pulled out everything, leaving bits of kit everywhere.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t find my hat.” Lance slumped down, resting his head in his hands. “I could have sworn that I was wearing it when I got here.”

“What does it look like?” Kevin asked, but Marcus just smiled, he knew exactly what sort of hat would have Lance so flustered.

“Hideous, just an unspeakably ugly, flashing neon monstrosity.” Lance looked around, but the changing room was empty apart from the three of them, and it was so bright that it could probably be seen from space.

Marcus pulled something out of his bag, a badly knitted Viking hat, complete with horns and long blond plaits trailing out for the ear flaps.

“Did you knit it yourself?” Lance stifled a laugh with his hand, glancing at Kevin who just smiled.

“Yes.”

“It’s a lovely hat.” Lance sniggered as Marcus handed it to him.

“It’s all yours for the night.” Marcus winked at Lance. “You never know, your soulmate might be in the bar.”

“Aren’t you looking for your soulmate?” Lance’s brow furrowed, and Marcus shrugged.

“I’ll find them when I find them.”

“How are you so laid back?”

Marcus smiled, shaking his head as Kevin laughed, the lights in the changing room clicking off and plunging them into darkness.

Kevin scrabbled to get his phone out, giving them just enough light to pack up, Lance smiling as he wore the most hideous Viking hat the world had ever seen.

Outside, three cold figures were waiting for them, Stoffel rubbing his hands together as Jo rolled his eyes at the sight of Lance in his hat.

Stoffel reached out for Kevin’s hand, holding it tight as he looked around.

“This is-“

“It’s freezing, how about we save the introductions for the pub?” Kevin grinned, ushering everyone in the right direction, and after waiting for everyone to find their IDs they were sitting in a crowded pub, Kevin balanced on Stoffel’s lap as the rest of them squished in to the small booth.

The heat in the bar was stifling, and everyone stripped off their scarves and hats, leaving a collection of hideous accessories lying on the table.

Stoffel whispered something to Kevin, making him grin, and then they were making out as though they were the only two people in the world.

Jo coughed, but the sound of the music drowned him out, and he decided to take charge, or they were going to end up sitting around in silence all night.

“I’m Jo, and this is Esteban, and we both work with Stoffel.” Jo pointed in the direction of the mass of limbs that was making out noisily.

“Marcus, I work with Kevin.” He gave everyone a wave, and Jo smiled.

“Firefighter, nice.”

All eyes were on Lance, and Jo could see the fear in his eyes. “What do you do?”

“I’m a student.” Lance fidgeted with the cords on his hoodie, his smile strained. “Business management.”

“Join the club.” Jo snorted in laughter, and Lance relaxed, the fear fading from his eyes.

“Is it as boring as it sounds?” Marcus nudged Jo, and he found himself smiling, glad that Stoffel had made him come.

“It’s even more boring than you can imagine.” Jo raised an eyebrow as Stoffel and Kevin came up for air, both of them gazing into each other’s eyes with such intensity that Jo expected cartoon hearts to start floating around them.

“I think that’s time for a beer.” Stoffel stuck his tongue out, and he dragged Kevin towards the bar, both so sickeningly in love, their bodies tangled together as though they couldn’t bear to be separated.

“Are they always like that?” Lance asked, leaning in to whisper.

“That’s them behaving…” Jo shook his head. “Last time I saw them both, it was at a party and they were practically having sex on the sofa.”

“Really?” Esteban cackled in laughter, everyone seeming more comfortable now that the ice was broken.

“Yes, affectionate doesn’t even start to cover it.”

Everyone laughed as Stoffel and Kevin returned, hands all reaching out for the beer, and Jo felt like it was going to be a good night.

And then someone asked the question.

“How did you two meet?” Esteban asked, and Jo rolled his eyes, he’d heard the story so many times that he could recite it by heart.

“So, I was at the coffee shop round the corner from work before a big business meeting…” Stoffel smiled at Kevin, and he blushed at the memory of it. “I was stood in line, not really paying attention when a beautiful guy caught my eye. The cheeky smile, the soft blond stubble, and the eyes that were both angelic and devilish all at the same time.”

Kevin leant in to kiss the end of his nose, and it was Stoffel’s turn to blush. “I’d just got my coffee, when I got a text saying that there was a big fire. I rushed for the door, but my coffee went flying.”

“I didn’t know he was a firefighter then, and I wasn’t happy about having coffee spilt over me, but normally I wouldn’t have said anything.”

Kevin giggled, and Stoffel stuck his tongue out.

“What actually came out of my mouth was what I’d been thinking, ‘You idiot, I’ve got a big meeting in twenty minutes and I can’t show up like this.’”

“And I told him to, ‘Suck my balls, honey.’” Kevin snorted in laughter. “I didn’t mean to say it, but it was just what I was thinking at the time.”

“I stuffed my business card into his hand, and I spent the rest of the day hoping that he would call.”

“The second I was home safe, I called him, and we talked all night.” Kevin reached out to hold Stoffel’s hand, both of them so comfortable with each other. Like they were meant to be.

“The next night we were in bed together.” Stoffel leant in for a kiss, tongues visible as Kevin’s hands slid under Stoffel’s jumper.

“Get a room.” Jo looked to Marcus for back up, but he looked happy that everyone else was happy.

“I think that’s our cue to leave, have fun guys.” Kevin blew them a kiss as he dragged Stoffel out of the bar, leaving the four of them looking at each other in amazement.

“That is one hell of a way to meet your soulmate.” Esteban sipped at his beer, and Jo could see that he would give anything to find the one.

“I can’t wait to meet mine.” Lance fidgeted with the hat on his lap, with all the introductions no-one had mentioned the truly hideous hat that he’d been wearing. He downed the last of his beer, wincing as he finished it, clearly unused to drinking. “I should be going, I have exams to study for.”

“I’ll walk you out.” Esteban rushed to put his scarf on, blushing as Lance caught him staring, and Jo could feel the air crackle with static electricity. “Night, guys.”

“Night.” Jo waved as they left, and he could have sworn that he saw a glow around them.

“And then there were two.” Marcus looked at their empty glasses, and Jo nodded, reaching for his wallet, but Marcus just shook his head.

Jo watched as Marcus wandered up to the bar, his jeans hanging off his perfect rear in a pleasing way, and he blushed as his mind filled with lustful thoughts.

“Here you go.” Marcus slid the pint over, the two of them sat close even though there was no need for them to be squished together.

Jo felt comfortable around him, he was so laid back, and yet he could tell that Marcus was waiting for his chance to talk about what everyone always wanted to talk about.

“Go on, ask, I can tell you want to know.” Jo smiled, hoping that it didn’t look confrontational.

“Why aren’t you looking for your soulmate?”

“Because I want what people had before all this soulmate stuff, where you met someone nice, and got to know them, and then decided if you wanted to spend the rest of your life with them.” Jo leant back in his seat, sipping at his beer as Marcus nodded.

Soulmates did take some of the mystery out of dating, although the same could be said for dating apps, but Jo just wanted a little bit of romance. Was that too much to ask?

“How about we get out of here then? Coffee at my place?” Marcus leant in for a kiss, a chaste meeting of the lips, but it set Jo’s soul on fire.

*

Esteban could see the train station in the distance, getting closer with every step that they took, and he fidgeted with the long pink plaits on his hat, wondering if it wasn’t quite ugly enough.

Lance’s hat was truly the most hideous thing that he’d ever seen, the irregular stitches and little holes only adding to the monstrosity.

Esteban stopped at the stairs down to the metro as Lance laced his fingers together. Soft snowflakes started to fall on them, making the world feel magical.

“What do you think of my hat?” Lance tugged at the ragged blond plait, the horns wobbling as Esteban giggled.

“It’s awful, truly hideous.” Esteban laughed, his heart pounding as he tried to tell Lance that it was nice. “Where did you get something as awful as that?”

“Marcus gave it to me, because I’d lost mine.”

“Wow.”

“Yours is cute, pink suits you.” Lance reached out for Esteban’s hand, but Esteban froze, his mouth dry as his stomach twisted into knots.

“If you can lie to me then I’m not your soulmate.” Esteban compressed his lips, how could it be that Lance was his soulmate, but he wasn’t Lance’s soulmate?

“I’m not lying, I like your hat, it looks nice and fluffy.” Lance stroked the side of his face, rousing him from his thoughts as Esteban felt sparks fly through his body.

“Try and lie to me.” Esteban grinned, his dorkiest grin that showed off all his teeth, and Lance paused, thinking hard as to what he could try and lie about.

“Pluto is still a planet and I don’t care what NASA says.”

“I know, how dare they say that Pluto isn’t a planet.” Esteban giggled, holding Lance’s hands as he gazed into his eyes. “Try another one.”

“I think I’m falling in love with you, even though I’ve only known you for an hour.” Lance covered his mouth with his hands, his cheeks already pink from the cold.

“Do you want to come back to my place?”

“Yes.” Lance bit his lip, grinning like an idiot as Esteban took his hand, leading him through the snowy streets.

*

Marcus hung up Jo’s jacket, and he left his shoes neatly by the door, the snow rapidly melting and leaving a puddle on the floor. Jo followed Marcus to the living room, caught off guard by the fact that it wasn’t the bedroom, and he sat down as Marcus headed for the kitchen. There were sounds of someone making coffee, and Jo smiled in amusement.

He’d assumed Marcus’ invitation was for sex, but that he was just too polite to say that in a crowded bar.

Marcus appeared with two mugs, and Jo snorted in laughter.

“Oh wow, you really meant coffee?”

“Well… coffee and sex?” Marcus grinned as he sat down next to him, their bodies touching even though there was plenty of space on the sofa for three, maybe even four people.

Jo smiled, sipping at his coffee as it warmed his cold hands. The silence was blissful after the noise of the pub, and Jo sat back, listening to the hypnotic sound of Marcus breathing.

He was so still that Jo thought he’d fallen asleep, but he was just sitting staring into space with a content smile on his face.

Jo shivered, and Marcus cuddled up closer, his warm skin like fire against Jo’s icy hands.

“I’m glad that you came to the match tonight.”

“Me too.” Jo sat his coffee cup down so that he could hold Marcus’ hand, stroking the side of it with his thumb as sparks flew through his body.

“I thought Esteban was your soulmate from the way that you two were sitting.”

Jo smiled at the fact that Marcus had noticed him in the crowd, stroking his hair as he cuddled in closer.

“There just wasn’t a lot of leg room.” Jo stretched his legs out, showing off as his jumper rode up and flashed his abs, Marcus’ eyes drawn to the trail of hair leading down towards the bulge in his jeans.

“Do you want to move this to the bed?”

Jo nodded, letting Marcus lead the way as he felt his cock twitch in anticipation, his body trembling as he realised that he was here, in Marcus’ bedroom, and he had him all to himself.

Marcus slipped out of his jumper, and Jo gasped as he admired all the rippling muscles, hesitating before reaching out to touch, delighting in the way that goose bumps rippled over his body.

“You’re gorgeous.” Jo blushed as Marcus stepped closer, his lips hovering only millimetres away.

“You’re not bad yourself,” Marcus whispered, tugging at the hem of his shirt.

Jo rushed to unbutton his shirt, Marcus nuzzling at the side of his neck as he struggled to stay upright, his knees weak just from the feeling of Marcus’ lips against his skin. He groaned as Marcus kissed his way down his chest, his ice blue eyes staring up at him as he trailed the kisses lower.

Just the sight of Marcus on his knees in front of him was enough to have him rock hard, his cock painfully pressing against the zip of his jeans, and he twisted his fingers through Marcus’ soft hair as he mouthed at his bulge.

Jo stumbled back on to the bed, Marcus grinning as he unzipped Jo’s jeans, inching them down as Jo covered his face with his hands, the cool air sending a shiver down his spine as his hard cock sprung free.

“I think I could come without you even touching me.” Jo froze, he couldn’t believe that the words had slipped out, but they were the truth.

“You are so fucking hot.” Marcus blushed, his eyes wide as he rested his head against Jo’s hip. “I don’t usually talk this much during sex.”

“I love hearing your voice, your accent is so sexy.” Jo dragged Marcus up for a kiss, both of them shuffling up the bed until Jo’s head was resting on the pillow, Marcus’ tongue flicking at his slack lips as Jo’s hard cock rubbed up against Marcus’ rough jeans.

“We should be wearing less clothes.” Marcus growled, rushing to tug Jo’s jeans off before dispensing with his own jeans as if by magic.

“I can’t wait to see you naked.” Jo blushed, the truth falling from his lips before he could even think about it. But he wanted to be caught up in the moment, to enjoy every second basking in Marcus’ beauty.

“Like what you see?” Marcus tangled their legs together, Jo groaning as their hard cocks rubbed together. His arms were bulging with muscle as he propped himself up, towering over Jo with a grin on his face.

“I love it.” Jo reached out to stroke the side of his face, needing to feel a connection to Marcus, the energy surging between them.

Marcus arched his back, grinding down against Jo’s hard cock, making them both moan in pleasure as Jo wrapped his arms around Marcus’ broad shoulders, burying his face against the crook of his neck, gasping as his body shuddered in pleasure.

Warm come spurted over his abs, Marcus flopping down on top of him as his chest heaved, and Jo stroked his back as they both gasped through the aftershocks.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” Jo didn’t skip a beat, he knew deep down that he was in love with Marcus, that they were destined to be together.

“We’re soulmates, aren’t we?”

“I’ve never been that honest with anyone before in my life.” Jo snorted in laughter, he thought of himself as an honest man, but there were many things he thought without saying, which was for the best if he wanted to keep his job.

“Me either.” Marcus rolled off Jo so that they could both catch their breath, draped over him like a blanket.

“For a long time I never wanted to meet my soulmate, but I’m so glad that I met you.” Jo reached out to hold Marcus’ hand, kissing him on the forehead as he draped the blanket over them.

“From the moment that I saw you sitting in the crowd, I could feel the energy between us.”

Jo smiled, wrapping Marcus up under his arm as his soft blond hair tickled his shoulder, and Marcus let out a sleepy yawn, his eyelids drooping as he cuddled in.

“I wonder how Lance and Esteban got on?”

“I’m sure they’re having fun.”

*

Esteban decided to show Lance the scenic route to his flat, the snow dusting the city and making everything look pristine.

The yellow glow of the street lights made them feel like they were bathed in an angelic haze.

“I’m so glad that I met you now, that we get to spend the rest of our lives together.”

“Me too.” Lance stopped walking, turning to face Esteban as their lips met, his heart pounding as time stood still. Esteban’s lips were like ice against his own, the taste of beer lingering as he moved to deepen the kiss, hungry for more.

They kissed until they were breathless, resting their foreheads together as they both grinned like idiots, both glowing with the euphoric high of finding their soulmate.

A flash of light caught Lance’s eyes, and he held Esteban’s hand tight as he stared at it.

“There’s a shooting star.” Lance pointed it out as it sped across the sky, and Esteban wrapped his arm around his waist.

“You should make a wish.”

Lance smiled, leaning in for another kiss as the snow swirled around them.

“My wish already came true.”

**Author's Note:**

> *and obviously none of this actually happened, it is all a figment of my twisted imagination ;)


End file.
